Daughter of Lust

It seems I have basically zero RP threads going on, because pretty much all my old ones got abandoned. And I haven’t written anything productive in over a month.

Well, fuck. I need to find things to do.

impromptucantabile:

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE COMIC

bakutaro:

Madoka: Homura-chan, come to my house <3

Homura: Sorry, Madoka, I’m fighting a witch right now.

Madoka: My parents aren’t home :3

Homura:

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tinalikesbutts:

OH NO
WHATEVER SHALL I DO

tinalikesbutts:

OH NO

WHATEVER SHALL I DO

Bonus Months

septemvigesimus:

In most of the world Pi Approximation Day is on the 22nd of July because 22 divided by 7 (22 / 7) rounded down to the hundredths place approximately resembles pi. In America, however, we put the month first (possibly to prevent days like this from being celebrated) so in order to reach 22/7 we must transcend the constraints of calendars as we know them to reach the secret 22nd month, Sklubuary. This is very difficult and has only been reached a few times in history, and even in those cases the seventh day was only reached once.

The criteria for reaching the first bonus month, Bembcember, which comes after December is rather difficult to achieve. Exactly one person person in the world, no more, no less, must sing O Canada backwards on October 32nd. After doing so, they must not look at deodorant until the end of December. If they did it correctly, and only one person did it, everyone’s calendar should grow an extra page and the year will continue. Enter Bembcember.

There are certain conditions that must be met to continue through the next 22 bonus months after Bembcember ends, but no one is exactly sure of what must be done. If the conditions are not met, the year ends and January begins. Although we have a vague understanding of the bonus months, we do know a few rules and quirks of the system.

If someone (in this case it can be one or more people) watches every episode of the fourth season of Hey Arnold during the 14th month, Granulary, we skip over Stapril and go straight to Gray. This is difficult, however, as Granulary is only one day long and it is renowned for being the shortest known month. However, in 1997, Granulary lasted a day and half and no one knows why to this day.

If someone is pregnant during any of the bonus months, the fetus will choose to stay in their mother’s womb. The reason for this is if a baby is born on a bonus month, they may age abnormally slowly because their birthday is on such a rarely occurring month. Once a boy was born on the 12th of Martin Luther King Month (month 21) in 1967 and he is only 4 years old today. Other fetuses have learned from his mistake and will no longer be born on bonus months. (Note: fetuses can communicate telepathically across time but only during bonus months.)

Recently it was discovered that December, which was previously believed to be one of the standard months, is actually a bonus month. Scientists found that December only comes when Santa Claus isn’t real. It has been theorized that long ago, Santa Claus used up all of his magic and willed himself out of existence in order to allow the month of December to come so that people around the world can celebrate Christmas. When Santa Claus is eventually reincarnated December will stop coming and Christmas will likely be rescheduled by corporations to one of the standard months.

The weather during bonus months can be very strange to people who are unfamiliar. Each one has a consistent weather pattern that lasts the whole month until the next one when it abruptly shifts. For example, the weather tendencies for the first four bonus months are stormy, snowy, burgundy, sunny, and so on. During Ultra Tuesday, the 17th month (which is a Tuesday that lasts a whole month), the weather tends to be rather spicy; the weather in June2, the 19th month, is hail and regret.

Some months are very rare and hard to reach. The 22nd month, Sklubuary is the hardest to reach, as it is the last possible month as far as we know. It was found that it does not have a limit to how many days it may last and it only ends if two mosquitoes are sucking the blood of one frog simultaneously. The 17th and 18th months, Ultra Tuesday and Milk, have been rendered unattainable for six years due to the fact that they are racist months and they do not occur if there is currently a black president. Please try not associate yourself with these two months, as others may think you are racist if you hang out with them.

PUT NSFW HEADCANONS IN MY ASK

ask-von-the-kirin:

ex-trainer-zarby:

image

DO IT DO IT DO IT!

unmovinggreatlibrary:

cerastes:

ryo-maybe:

Some men want to conquer mountains. Others want to fuck the mountain.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SPIRITUAL BENEFITS OF MACROPHILIA?

M!A you are a naughty giantess who has to do whatever any male character says for one week!

unmovinggreatlibrary:

cerastes:

ryo-maybe:

Some men want to conquer mountains. Others want to fuck the mountain.

ARE YOU READY FOR THE SPIRITUAL BENEFITS OF MACROPHILIA?

M!A you are a naughty giantess who has to do whatever any male character says for one week!